EdZilla
by IdiotsApprentice
Summary: When Ed gets cursed by a strange woman he runs into, he grows to 300ft and is reluctant to change back so it's up to Al, Mustang and others to try and ruin his fun. Special thanks to Alchemic Goddess for the title!
1. Scepticism

_I got the idea for this from a dream I had last night. There's one OC but I really dislike OCs so it isn't a major character really. _

_I do not own Full Metal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does.

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It's common knowledge that Ed isn't exactly the tallest guy in the country and one day when he was contemplating this, he decided that he'd had enough.

"I've had enough, Al!" He growled furiously. Al, who had been reading a book peacefully on his bed, looked up from aforementioned book.

"Had enough of what, brother?" He asked puzzled.

"Enough of being shorter than everyone!"

"Enough of being short?"

"Short-er!" Ed corrected.

"It's just one of those things that you can't help, Ed. There's nothing you can do I'm afraid."

"No! There must be something!" Ed sighed and resigned. "I'm going for a walk." He announced and left.

Ed walked along the streets alone, surprised that Al hadn't followed him out. _"Then again, he had become more lethargic since he got his body back." _Ed thought mentally; not really paying attention to where he was walking. Consequently, Ed walked straight into someone and fell backwards. "Sorry." He groaned as he looked up at a woman in strange clothing who seemed to tower over him. If he were standing up, she would have been at least a foot taller than him.

"It's okay, little boy." She said sending Ed into a raging fit.

"Who are you calling so short that he would be stepped on had it not been for people noticing his devilish good looks?!"

"Calm down, boy!"

"I'm a man!" Ed insisted getting up.

"Could have fooled me." The woman mumbled making Ed even angrier.

"You're the one who's tall enough to be a fully-grown man! What are you, 300 ft?! That's how tall _I_ should be!"

"Oh, so you want to be '300 ft' then, little 'man'? Then so it shall be." She started chanting some foreign words and waving her arms around Ed. "There, now by tomorrow you shall grow to 300 ft!" Ed snorted.

"I wish, lady! I don't have time for your antics." He scoffed and headed back to his dorm.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." She shouted to him before turning away and walking off.

When Ed returned, Al greeted him and Ed threw himself unceremoniously on the bed.

"I ran into this woman when I was out. She was freakishly tall and she wore strange clothing."

"That's nice, brother." Al said flatly as he laid his book down to listen to his brother.

"Yeah, but then she started babbling something and waving her arms around me" he started mimicking her previous actions. "And then she said that I would grow to 300 ft by tomorrow. I'm telling you, Al, some people need to go to a mental institute."

"Just be careful, brother."

"Don't worry, Al. It's not like her 'curse' will come true. It's not scientific."

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_In my opinion, this first chapter sucks but it should hopefully get better. Please review and no flames!_


	2. Be Careful What You Wish For

_I do not own Full Metal Alchemist._

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Colonel Roy Mustang was napping in his private office when a flustered Hawkeye burst in. "Sir!" She called rousing him from his slumber. "Perhaps you should come take a look at this." Motioning for him to follow, they both left the room. 

As they entered the corridor, Mustang noticed a large audience of flabbergasted solders gathered around a window. He pushed his way through the group to try and see what the cause of the commotion and couldn't believe his eyes when he saw a 300 ft Edward Elric waving at all the soldiers bragging about his height.

"Full Metal?!" Roy gasped and almost as if the blonde haired boy had heard him he pointed straight at the window (most likely at Mustang although his finger was so big it pointed at them all) and grinned evilly. "Bastard Colonel! Now who's the short one?" Ed shouted causing the building to shake and a few solders to fall down. Looking beyond Edward, Mustang could see broken buildings, squashed cars and people running for their life. He knocked on the glass. "Ed! What happened?"

"He was cursed." A voice said from behind the crowd as they partitioned and Al stood in the centre.

"Cursed? Don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing as curses."

"Then how else would you explain that?" Al pointed at Ed through the window who was preoccupied with not trying to stand on anyone.

"So how did it happen, Al?" Riza enquired.

"Ed said something about a tall lady in weird clothes chanting something and waving her arms around" He started waving his arms around madly "then saying that tomorrow, he will grow to 300 ft."

"Okay, we need to locate where this woman went. Al, did Ed say where he saw her?" Al shook his head. "Hawkeye, Havoc, Fuery, Breda, Falman and Al follow me. The rest of you get back to work." Mustang ordered and headed outside.

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Edward was enjoying his new found height; sure it was a little bit taller than what he preferred but he was sure going to make the most of it. 

He looked down and noticed seven figures stood by his feet; all but one dressed in a navy blue uniform indicating that the others were from the military. Upon closer inspection, Ed realised who each of the characters were. "Jealous of my height, Mustang?" He called down. The other man tried to say something in response but was too far away for Ed to hear him. "Hang on, get on!" Ed lowered his hand down to the ground with his palm upwards for Mustang to get on. He clearly didn't want to get on though, his hesitation said enough. "I'm not going to throw you to the ground or something, that'd just be stupid." Mustang steadily climbed on and braced himself as he was lifted up higher and higher until he was by Ed's ear.

"It doesn't matter what I was going to say but we'll try and get you back to normal."

"I don't want to go back to normal!" Ed argued.

"Be realistic, Ed. You can't do anything when you're this size."

"You're just jealous because I'm taller than you for once!" Ed held his hand out in front of him and threw Roy up in the air and caught him. He repeated the process until he felt the usually taller man cling to his sleeve to prevent him from being tossed again. Slowly, Ed tilted his arm to a forty-five degree angle making it mandatory for Mustang to hold on tight, lest he fall off.

"Now you know what it feels like to be screwed with!" Ed jeered as he held his hand straight again. Mustang meanwhile looked ready to vomit.

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Please Review! 

I looked up skyscraper height and realised that I was off by about one significant figure so sorry.


	3. The Hunt For An Oddity

_I do not own Full Metal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. Sorry about the chapters being so short too._

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Once they realised that Ed wouldn't willingly help them to make him revert back to his original size and once they'd convinced him to let Mustang down safely, the group of seven set out to see if they could find the women who had put the imprecation upon Ed. And as luck would have it, footer half an hour of searching, they came across a tall lady. Unfortunately for them however, it wasn't the one they sought (the group weren't even sure if it were a lady or a man in lady's clothing), which meant that they'd have to keep searching.

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Ed hadn't contemplated things like going to the bathroom or washing himself yet but the thing he wanted at the moment was food. Now you can imagine how much food it would take to satisfy someone as tall as a skyscraper (had skyscrapers existed at that time), especially when Ed eats that much in the first place. He glanced over the city and beamed when he eyed his favourite restaurant, taking gigantic stomps until he reached it. Crouching down next to the building, he decided to use his height to his advantage and picked the roof off, examining the kitchen area.

The portions were smaller than he would have liked but it would have to do. He ate practically the entire kitchen in his efforts to get all the food.

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The seven searching were starting to get weary ergo decided to take a break. They sat down on the eroding steps of Central Library. They were about to give up when Falman noticed a tall figure donned in outré clothing. From the back, Falman could only see a flowing black cape and a pointed hat; auburn curls coming from underneath said hat, bouncing with each step taken. When Al had said strange, he'd had something a bit more different in mind.

"Look!" He exclaimed and pointed at the woman, everyone's attention becoming focused on her. Al quickly jumped off of the stairs and confronted the woman. "Excuse me but my brother, Edward Elric; you may have seen him around, what with him being 300 foot and all. I was wondering if you had something to do with his sudden growth spurt."

"Oh, so that was your brother?" The woman smiled at Al as the others stood behind him. "Yes, he was being a little too obnoxious for my taste so I granted his wish."

"Ed wished to be 300 foot tall?" Fuery asked.

"Ah… Something like that. I suppose you want to know how to change him back to his original short self, no?"  
"Yes, we would. Colonel Mustang" He offered his hand to the woman. "And you would be…?"

"Tired! I've been on my feet all day. Mind if we go sit over on those steps?" The woman replied and made a head-start for the stairs.

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Ed was starting to get a little bit bored now so being the 'Hero of the people' he was, decided to use his height to benefit others. He helped get kittens out of trees (wouldn't Al be proud?), put fires out by merely spitting on them, easily tracked and caught thieves, all amongst other things. He was soon known amongst the people (and amongst the people only, for he'd surely kill them if he found out) as the 'SFG'; the 'Short Friendly Giant' and praised greatly.

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_Thank you to all who have read this far and reviewed! Please, keep them coming! They make me very happy._


	4. The Plan

_I do not own Full Metal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. _

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"I'll cut straight to the point." The woman said bluntly with Al and company were gathered around her. "You want to know how to shrink him again? Even despite how much he loves being so tall?"

"We don't really care about what Ed wants." The Colonel nodded and Riza nudged his arm harshly.

"What he meant to say was that we believe it would be better for everyone, including Edward, if he were back to his original state."

"Very well then." She cleared her throat. "The only thing that can cure him is…" There was a pregnant pause as everyone waited with great anticipation, expecting to have to find some sort of tropical plant in a rainforest or something to that effect. "Milk." She finished.

A silence ensued after hearing that dreaded word which caused everyone to blanch. It was a few seconds later until hysterical laughter broke the silence.

"What's so funny, Mr. Mustang?" She enquired as Mustang tried to calm himself down and wiped the tears from his eyes which had formed from laughing so hard. "Oh, it's just that we're all screwed! There's no way of getting Ed to drink milk!"

"Oh, Mr. Elric doesn't like milk, I take it?"

"He despises the stuff!" Mustang informed.

"I have an idea." Havoc interrupted. Everyone waited for him to continue. "Well, what if we got Ed to try and eat Mustang who just happens to have a glass of milk. He pours it down his throat and jumps out before Ed starts shrinking."

Another silence followed before Riza spoke up. "Any objections?"

"What?! I object! What makes you think I'm going to let Ed eat me? That was the most stupid idea I've ever heard!"

"No need to lower my self-esteem, Colonel!" Havoc defended. "Everyone else seemed to like it and I don't see you making any suggestions!"

"Please, Colonel! We need to try something before Ed decides to destroy the entire country!" Al begged.

"You've got to be kidding. Even if we did go through with this, you'd want me to jump from 30 foot?!"

"300 foot." Falman corrected.

"Well that's even worse!" Mustang sighed and turned to the strangely-dressed woman. "Can we at least mix it in with something?" She shook her head.

"No, it must be purely milk, I'm afraid."

"Well, I have a plan and it's foolproof, so even you can't screw this up Havoc." Breda grinned causing Havoc to frown at him.

"Very funny, now what's this plan?"

They all huddled around Breda who started sharing the details of his scheme.

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_I understand that this chapter is even shorter than the other chapters so I apologise. It's just that I know Breda is going to have a plan, I just don't know the plan yet. Ideas would be loved thank you! Please review!_


	5. FullmetalZilla vs FlameZilla

**I'm really, really sorry that this took so long to write! D: I just... ran out of ideas. But everyone MUST THANK Sapphire225; this chapter certainly wouldn't exist without her! Much love and gratitude! But as I was saying, I did run out of ideas for about 5 months so I apologise.**

** Thank you again, Sapphire225, I don't think I'll ever be able to express how grateful I am with words! ;D  
**

**I do not own Full Metal Alchemist. **

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"This is ridiculous." Mustang commented when Fuery and Falman had come back down the road where they'd bought a pint of milk, of which they'd been told to get. They'd expected to have to get about 200 pints at least or something for someone of Ed's height (it was odd speaking of Ed as a tall person) but apparently 1 would do just fine. 

"Yes, we know your opinion on it already; you've been saying the same thing for the past ten minutes now. Honestly, you sound like a broken record." the oddly dressed woman retorted.

"Then why hasn't anyone acted upon it? I'm the one who's being forced to do this; isn't it right that I should at least get some say in the matter?"

"With due respect, sir, we don't really have any other alternatives. And you're the best man for the job, in this particular scenario." Falman answered.

"There is _my_ alternative if you want, sir." Havoc piped up but Mustang waved his hand in dismissal.

"I'd rather not. Let's just get this out of the way." He held his hand out to Fuery, ready to accept the dairy product they'd purchased, to which the young officer complied.

"You must remember, Mr. Mustang," the woman began, "after making Edward Elric as tall as he is my power hasn't yet reached its full potential yet meaning that this won't last for very long. There will be no warning either to tell you that it's drawing to an end so you must be prepared."

Mustang nodded and put the bottle of milk into his pocket. "I'm ready." he said and took a few steps away from the others, who in turn also took a few steps back.

Everyone watched fascinatedly as the woman began chanting and waving her arms around as if there was a swarm of mosquitoes above her head. This lasted for no longer than a minute and once she was done, she herself took a step back. They all waited with great anticipation to see this miracle happen before their eyes but after half a minute, Roy became impatient.

"Are you sure it worked?" he asked looking at his hands then back at the others.

"Just give it a few more seconds…" she replied, then as if right on queue, Mustang began growing.

The jaws of the others were practically scraping along the floor; even Riza was flabbergasted. Within a few more seconds, Mustang was towering over buildings and it seemed almost as if his head was in the clouds, quite literally. After he'd finished growing, he looked around him at all the destruction that had been created in Full Metal's wake and even his own, for though he hadn't moved an inch, the expansion of his feet had caused one of the buildings he had been standing by a small bit of damage at the front; nothing too serious though, unlike what Ed had done. He did, however notice that the seven small dots on the ground had retreated even further. That was when he realised that even one false step could destroy many lives and many buildings along with them. After looking around a bit more, he then noticed where Ed was. The blonde thankfully had his back to him. Whilst Ed was still oblivious to the fact that he had been made tall too, Roy decided to move to a more desolate area. He sighted a large field nearby and began trying to make his way there quietly (or as quiet as possible for someone with size 1100 feet or something similar), making sure to watch where he put his feet in the steps that took him there. When he got there, he sighed relievedly, noticing he hadn't caused too much damage; footprints in concrete at the most.

He stood with his arms akimbo, the insignia on both of his alchemic gloves facing outwards and the smirk he knew Ed hated so much played on his lips.

"Well, Full Metal, you certainly have talent." Mustang said, his booming voice resonating through the air to Ed. The younger alchemist immediately recognised the familiar voice and looked around in horror to his superior officer- all 385 feet of him.

"C- C- Colonel!" he stuttered and pointed his large finger at the man, of whom seemed eager to finish what he was going to say.

"Congratulations, Ed, you've somehow managed to become a **short giant** despite the oxymoron. Not to mention the utter chaos and destruction you've caused to the entire city within a few hours."

Ed didn't seem to hear anything after being called short. "Who are you calling so small that even as a giant he has to look up to ants?!" he screamed and waved his arms around furiously, even more so than the sorceress when she was making incantations. He knocked one of the buildings with his hand as he was doing so, destroying it almost completely which was when Roy started getting worried about the safety of those in the city yet again.

"That isn't what I said but I suppose that is a better way to say what I meant. Even now you're only barely taller than your younger brother. Oh, that reminds me, Alphonse said a few things as well... regarding _you_."

Ed cocked an eyebrow and glared at Mustang. "What sort of '_things_'?" he enquired.

Mustang shrugged in response and his smirk grew. Ed seethed through his teeth in annoyance.

"Tell me, you bastard! Damn it!" Ed cried out angrily. "When I find you, Al, you're going to pay for this!"

Mustang felt kind of guilty for the trouble he'd just caused for Al, who hadn't actually told him anything, but he just hoped Ed wouldn't call his bluff.

"All I'll say is that it isn't something I think you'd really want everyone knowing. Of course, being as big as I am now, telling the entire city should be pretty easy. I might even be able to shout loud enough for your friends in Risembool to hear you." Roy knew that this was quite unlikely but Ed didn't seem to be thinking too rationally at the moment. His scheme worked though for before he knew it, the blonde alchemist was making his way to the field (although he was nowhere near as careful with his steps as Mustang was) and then stood at the opposite end of it.

"That's it, Mustang. You dare tell anyone whatever it is you know about me…"

"Gladly." the Colonel replied and opened his mouth to speak. He was already pretty sure that a majority of the city could already hear their exchange of words but he still amplified his voice to make sure. "Edward Elric-." he began slowly but the sound of clapping hands obtained his attention and he looked to Ed who had slammed his hands on the ground. Roy simply watched him use his alchemy, for if his theory was right, he had nothing to worry about.

And his theory was right. When Ed lifted his hands, Roy could just about make out a small thin object, which, on closer inspection, turned out to be a spear. For someone of a normal height (or slightly below, as was Ed usually), it would have been fine for use but to them it was more like a toothpick.

"What?" Ed gasped questioningly as he took the object between his fingers and looked at it even closer.

"You didn't really expect your alchemic power to amplify just because you got taller, did you? Alchemy isn't dependant on the size of the alchemist but the experience of said alchemist and the materials being transmuted. It's like saying that the taller an alchemist is, the better at alchemy and the bigger his transmutations are. You should know that isn't true; look how _short_ you are yet you made it as a state alchemist."

Ed gritted his teeth together and clenched his fists tightly as he listened to the Flame Alchemist. He'd managed to keep his composure, at least, until Mustang had once again called him short. Then he'd lost it.

"Don't call me small!" he yelled and charged at Mustang then swung his fist wildly. The man managed to dodge his attack.

Roy knew that this was practically a suicide mission; insulting Ed to no end, but he had to try and succeed in the plan and especially before he shrunk. What he was also afraid of was that his alchemy would also be pretty much useless with them being large as they were and, although he refused to admit it, he knew that Edward was better at hand-to-hand than he was.

"Almost but too slow, I'm afraid." Mustang taunted despite all of this, earning another growl from Ed.

"Keep still so I can smash your face in!" Ed yelled and clapped his hands together. Rather than trying to transmute something from the ground though, he started transmuting his automail arm. Needless to say that the process of doing so was going slowly, giving Mustang time to intervene. The colonel lunged at Ed this time and the blonde had to cease his transmutation to avoid being hit by a gloved fist.

"Damn it!" Ed cursed, knowing that it was hopeless trying again. Trying to use so much alchemy would end up wearing him out too in the long run. "I hate you!!!" he cried with chagrin and charged at the colossal colonel.

"You don't mean tha-." Roy began saying but checked himself to avoid receiving a blow from Ed. Okay, maybe he really did mean it.

Ed didn't let up as he unleashed a flurry of punches one after another at Mustang. They were only narrowly being eluded but were certainly getting closer. With each swing, Mustang was moving further and further backwards until he almost lost his balance. Knowing he wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer, he lifted his arm and snapped, activating his alchemy. The insignia on his glove lit up and a spark was given although the result was only a small flame which scorched the tip of Ed's nose, but even that was enough to stop the younger boy.

"My nose! Bastard, that hurt!" Ed wailed as he clamped his hand over the injured flesh.

"What and you think me getting hit with your automail wouldn't have?!" the Flame countered before jumping at Ed and tackling him to the ground.

The city shook as the two beings collided with the ground and a thick cloud of dirt and dust came up, making it almost impossible for either to see. Roy cursed as he felt Ed roll out from underneath him and began groping around to see if he was anywhere nearby. Unexpectedly, he felt himself being forced to the ground and pinned.

"Got you, you bastard!" Ed jeered as the dust finally started clearing so that he could make out Mustang's face and vice versa. Roy cursed under his breath; the boy was surprisingly strong for his size and age; he supposed that the weight of the automail had something to do with it also but all that he knew was that he couldn't get free. Ed had him pinned down.

"You going to tell me that secret now? It's mine after all."

"There is no secret, Ed, I was bluffing." Mustang confessed but Ed didn't seem satisfied.

"Don't feed me that crap! Tell me or…"

"Or what, Ed?"

"Or I'll kill you."

Roy kept silent. He knew Ed didn't have the guts to kill him.

…

He _hoped_ Ed didn't have the guts to kill him, that is.

"Well, it's your call, Mustang. Going to tell me?"

Roy rolled his eyes at Ed's persistence. He opened his mouth to make a retort but much to his amazement, Ed started getting even bigger. His jaw dropped open as he stared up perplexedly.

"What the-?!" he gasped when he also noticed that the city was growing too.

Oh, wait. He was shrinking, wasn't he?

"So yours wasn't permanent like mine, huh?" Ed asked with a malevolent grin once Mustang had finished shrinking. The only good thing that came out of shrinking for Roy was that he could now crawl out of Ed's grip and then ran off. However, Ed easily captured the small, dark-haired man, pinching the back of his collar and lifted him to his eye level. Roy had started struggling to free himself but when he'd been lifted so high, Ed letting go was the last thing he wanted.

"Any last words, Mustang?" Ed queried malignly and hovered the man above his open mouth as if ready to drop him in and eat him. A victorious smile came onto Roy's face.

"Just two." he answered and managed to pull the milk from his pocket without Ed noticing. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips and he uttered the two words that fulfilled his request. "Got milk?" And with that, he opened the bottle and tipped its contents into Ed's mouth.

"No!!!" Ed screeched and leg go of Mustang to clamp his hands over his mouth. He tried to spit it out but by then it had been too late and the liquid had already run down his oesophagus.

Roy was falling to his death and needed to think quickly if he were to survive. He grabbed the nearest thing he could which, other than thin air, was Ed's leg which he was falling parallel to. He cursed Ed for wearing such tight leather trousers but at least he managed to slow down his descent. Ed's boot also made a nice curve for him to land on as well he decided as he climbed off. Ed was on his way down too, shrinking as Mustang had done before. Roy waited for him to become his normal size again.

"I thought you weren't going to stop shrinking for a second there, Full Metal." he commented with a self-satisfied smile.

"I **hate** you; you made me smaller and to top it all off you made me drink milk! " Ed snarled with a deep loathing for the man he was speaking to.

"Come on, Ed, you know very well that staying that size wasn't practical." Roy argued as he sighted a car pulling up nearby. His subordinates, Al and the weird lady all exited the vehicle and approached the two of them.

"See, Chief, I told you my plan would work." Havoc boasted, earning a perplexed look from Mustang.

"We didn't go through with your plan." he said but Havoc shook his head.

"Ed almost ate you but you poured milk down his throat and escaped; that was my plan and is that not what happened?" Roy merely turned his head away ignorantly and addressed Ed.

"Well, Ed, what do you have to say for yourself? All the damage you've caused isn't going to pay for itself, you know."

"Hold on, this isn't all my fault, you know! I wasn't the one who made myself 300 feet tall." Ed refuted. "She should at least be partially to blame!" Mustang took no notice of his excuses however and merely sighed.

"Come on, Ed," he began, putting his arm across Ed's shoulders then led him towards the vehicle, everyone else following behind, "it's a long drive back to headquarters and we have a few mobs of angry property owners to protect you from and a large bill for damages to calculate."

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**Well, this certainly turned out differently than I expected (it turned into RoyxEd!!! Unimplied RoyxEd!!! D:) but I suppose it's not too bad... I hope. Thank you again, Sapphire225, totally awesome idea:D Thank you for reading.**


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